Years ago, as a new wife, I was frustrated and in a disenchanted existence as a wife. I felt alone, less than important, and invisible. As children began to enter into our life, these feelings intensified even more until a breaking point was reached. Something had to give.
That thing, as it turned out, was me.
Dear Wife, Your Husband Needs Your Prayers
Since the advent of the feminist movement of the 1960s, the attack against manhood has been an all out assault. What was initially intended to help restore equality between the genders has ultimately led to the newest form of rebellion and supremacy: the power of the female force!
The problem with humanity is that even good ideas, if removed from a firm moral compass, will inevitably veer off course. As years ago there was some degree of a surge in male dominance, today there is a push for female self-righteousness. The outspoken voices of this group of contentious women hits our minds nearly every day, especially when much of social media, news, movies, television, commercials, etc. are permitted into the moments of our days. Rarely do these things present a balanced, loving perspective towards men, but rather suggest a subtle promotion of male stupidity with female intelligence.
Ladies, this cannot be a mindset that we allow into our homes.
First, our men are already struggling with this promotion of male ignorance. Many of them are without good examples of what is means to be a man of God, so is it any surprise that they stumble along at home? They do not need to be brow beaten into submission by the “helping” wife, but rather than need loving acceptance and patient forgiveness for the things they do not inherently know.
What we fail to realize in our present culture is that for the last hundred years or so, the family unit has been gradually eroded as work has been removed from the home and taken men, and now women, to an outside business for work. Few men any longer know what it means to be anything other then self-defined by their jobs. We women do not know how to take care of the home and raise children in love. These are not things for which we need to beat ourselves up about either! They are simply the effects of a gradually turning away from natural living. We are all learning it all over again. We are all in the process of returning hearts to home.
But, the way back to peace is a gentle process of small steps over time. It first must begin first with a heart turned towards God and His Word for guidance and wisdom in all things. And, personally, I believe that many women are being called out of the lies of our past and into our blessed roles as God’s chosen helpers for our own husbands. I believe that He is first moving the women to follow Him so that when He begins His work on the men that we don’t get in His way (which we are more than apt to do generally).
As a helper, you are not called to fix your husband, but rather to call upon the Almighty to do His great work in him. You, wife, are the front line of spiritual defense for your husband. Do not neglect or diminish the inherent role of importance you play for the spiritual well-being of your home, starting first with your husband. Prayer is our GREATEST weapon and strength!
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.” ~ Proverbs 31: 27
As a good helper, and keeper at home, you have been gifted with a natural insight into the spiritual and emotional needs of those around you. Your husband is likely not gifted in this area. Few men are. This is not a negative thing for him, either, so instead of letting the lies of the world invade your thoughts and color your view of him, choose to thank the Lord for the differences between men and women! They are a blessing.
Pray for wisdom and discernment to only speak the truth to yourself about your husband, and pray for discernment to see the needs that your husband has and seek to meet them. If he needs prayer, pray. If he needs encouragement, encourage. If he needs a listening ear, stay silent and listen. At all times, seek Yahweh for guidance for the moment, and if contentious and ugly remarks come to mind, hold your tongue.
These are all incredibly important steps for marital unity, and some of us will need to work harder at them then others; either because of inherent personality differences, or due to learned behaviors in our upbringing.
Either way, the prayers of the righteous wife availeth much (James 5: 16). You have amazing value in the Kingdom, wife! You have amazing value on this planet! But, it is not found through controlling, domineering behaviors that lack grace, gentility, love, peace, patience, selflessness, or any of the other virtues of the Almighty.
Our weapons are not the weapons of man, but rather the tools of the Spiritual warfare, the true war in which we are daily engaged.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” ~ Ephesians 6: 12-13
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints….” ~ Ephesians 6: 14-18
If we want to be some form of “warrior women,” strong and mighty and “powerful,” the truest sense of this is only brought into reality when we realize that we are women of God, and this single identity wields with it the greatest force ever: love. “For God is love.”